Little Things Page 11

  “I planned on giving this to you the day after prom as an early birthday gift, and I know today’s not the best day for gifts, but it’s your birthday. You should get at least one gift.”

  My eyes dazzle at the box and I pull it from his grasp. I open it slowly to find a silver necklace inside attached with a beautiful heart-shaped pendant with an engraving that says, “Sing”. I gasp in awe as tears fill my eyes.

  “Duke, I love it.”

  His smile flashes as he takes the necklace and clasps it around my neck. I look down and touch it as it shimmers and sparkles in the light.

  “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”

  “Yeah, beautiful.”

  I catch him staring at me and suddenly I’m speechless. His warm eyes glisten and radiate an electric current, making my body sizzle. He focuses on my lips and I can’t help but bite my bottom lip. He sucks in a gust of air and his eyes grow dark with a blaze of longing. A crash of nerves hit me and I realize he’s moving closer and closer to me. My heart skips a beat as my breathing becomes erratic. His hand grabs my head to pull my lips onto his, and just as they touch, I pull away.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”

  He clears his throat, “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  I smile assuringly, “Come on, let’s go inside.”

  We make our way inside and I tell Duke I’m going to change. As I enter the room and take off my dress, I stare at myself in the mirror. The silvery pendant sparkles against my chest and I gently grasp it. He shouldn’t give up his future for me. He’s too good for me. I don’t deserve him. Tears fill my eyes as I realize what I must do. Bolting into the bathroom, I gather everything I brought with me from home and toss it into my bag. Scooping up the remainder of my clothes from the floor, I toss them into my bag. Quickly changing into jeans and a sweatshirt, I look around the room for my sneakers. Finding them, I hurriedly pull them on, ignoring the fact that I should probably tie them.

  Gazing at my reflection in the mirror, I take the pins out of my hair and scoop it up into a tight bun. Catching the sparkle of my necklace, I regretfully take it off, placing it nicely on the dresser. I grab my wallet and leave my phone on the dresser, next to the necklace.

  Spotting a small piece of paper, I scribble a quick note to Duke and Melanie. I rush over to the window, open it, and look outside to determine the best and safest way down. As I toss my bag to the ground, I pray it doesn’t make a sound. I carefully slide down the slope of the roof and leap to the ground without hesitation, snatch by bag, and take off for the bank to grab some cash.

  Forty-five minutes later, I find myself at Penn Station, purchasing a ticket for Amtrak heading to whatever destination I can afford at the moment. I look around nervously, just in case Duke shows up. With no sign of him or Melanie, I find an empty seat in the back of the waiting terminal.

  I hear the announcement, “Amtrak #5468 from New York Penn Station to Chicago Union Station, now boarding on Platform Fifty-Seven.” I look at my watch and calculate it’s been an hour since I left Melanie’s house. I take a deep breath, gather my things, and head to platform Fifty-Seven. Walking down the stairs, I approach the train and climb inside, claiming the nearest window seat. Thankfully, I was smart enough to purchase a book at the gift shop. This will be a long trip.

  A few minutes later, the train starts to pull away from the platform and the ticket holder walks down the aisle and stamps my ticket. As the train makes its way out from underground and into the afternoon light, the conductor states, “This is the Amtrak #5468 headed toward Chicago Union Station. We thank you for visiting New York and please come again.”

  Tears stream down my face as I see the New York City skyline drift away in the distance. My lungs constrict with the sting of ache and hopelessness as my heart grieves. And here I am, leaving it all behind—my friends, my mother, and him. I place my hand on the window and stare out into the distance that now separates us. Good-bye, Duke.

  Duke

  The alarm sounds off and wakes me up from a very loving, yet cruel dream. Of course, it was about her. She’s haunted my dreams for the past year and I have no way of escaping them. But today is the one year mark of the day she left me. Sometimes I wonder if she just didn’t want me in the end. I guess that could be true, but I still have hope.

  After she disappeared, I would sit outside her house, hoping that one day she’d come back to me, but she never did. I ignored my mother, avoided Melanie, and distanced myself from Rob. But that didn’t hurt as much as her leaving me. I remember one night during the summer, I got so wasted, drove to her house, and screamed her name until the neighbors called the police.

  I sit in my bed, staring at the ceiling, daydreaming of her. Suddenly, I hear the banging of Rob’s fist on my dorm room, “Duke!! Get up! We have class. Last one, bro, before the end of the semester. Hurry up!”

  I groan and force myself out of bed. Stumbling into the bathroom, I wash up, and quickly dress in a pair of khaki shorts and a white polo shirt. My reflection in the mirror reveals the disastrous style of my untamed hair. I shake my hair and comb my fingers through to tame it as best I can. Fuck it.

  I grab my stuff and head into the hall to meet Rob.

  He pats my shoulder, “You alright, bro?”

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

  He eyes me suspiciously, “No worries. Just asking.”

  We head outside and walk across campus to our final class of “Fundamentals of Criminal Law.” A few minutes later, we arrive to class and I already see Brooklyn, waiting for me by my seat. I groan in protest and walk up to her.

  “Hey, Brooklyn.”

  She squeals at my presence, “Hi, Duke! I had a great time last night. You should have stayed, you know. We could have kept going until morning.” She winks at me and licks her lips flirtatiously.

  I scoff, “Yeah, I don’t do sleepovers. You know that.”

  She frowns, “I know, I just thought that maybe you’d changed your mind.”

  I shrug my shoulders and look away from her, “Well, I didn’t.”

  She pouts and scurries off to her seat just as the professor walks into class. Rob sits to next to me and whispers, “Dude, since when are you so grouchy?”

  I growl, “Fuck off, Rob.”

  “Dude, you need to get a grip. I know today is tough for you but don’t take it out on me. If anything, be mad at her.”

  As soon as he says that, I jump out of my seat and snarl at him, “This has nothing to fuckin’ do with her. So back off!”

  Rob puts his hands up in surrender, “You see? You don’t even realize it.”

  I shake my head in anger and stalk out of the classroom, pushing past the students in the hall. Storming straight to my dorm room, I slam the door, grab the nearest table lamp, and launch it across the room. Shards of glass fly everywhere and I can’t help but notice the irony of the situation—the shattered lamp mirrors my shattered heart. My temper builds as my destructiveness takes over and I tear up my desk items on the way to the bathroom where I slam my fists onto the vanity. I glance at my reflection to see puffy, bloodshot eyes filled with tears as my chest heaves up and down.

  Repulsed by the sight of myself, I lower my head. One year—it’s been a year. Raya, why did you leave me? I wipe away a single tear, compose myself, and make my way back to my dresser. Opening the top drawer, I rummage underneath the boxer briefs and find a folded piece of paper.

  Opening it, I read, Duke, don’t worry about me. I will find my way. Live your life without me. Make your dreams come true. This is my gift to you. – Raya

  I crumble the paper and throw it into the garbage. Raya, you were my dream.

  Brooklyn finds me lounging in the hallway and pulls me onto the dance floor.

  “You made it! I’m so happy you came to my party!”

  Yeah, well I didn’t do it for you. I need a fuckin’ distraction since today’s been a
shitty day. She grabs my arms and wraps them around her as the music plays in the background. I’ve already had a few drinks and definitely need some more to block everything out. I can already tell that she’s a little tipsy.

  The music grows louder as the bass drops and she twirls around, pushing her ass into my junk. I grab her hips as she grinds along the hard bump in my jeans. She reaches her arm behind me and presses me against her back even harder. Fuck. She spins around, placing her arms around my neck, and kisses me. My tongue brushes against hers as we bump along to the music. Her tongue glides across the top of my lip, causing my dick to twitch in my pants. She must have felt it because she chuckles with a slight tease.

  I grab a fist full of long, dark hair and pull gently, causing her to gasp in ecstasy. As we continue to move to the rhythm of the music, I use my left hand to conspicuously unbutton the top buttons of her shirt. Her hands move down to my ass and she squeezes. I slide my right hand up her thigh and brush it along the crease of her thong. She squirms in my grasp and I bite her bottom lip as she opens her eyes and tugs me out of the room and upstairs.

  Once we arrive at the top of the stairs, I grab hold of her and push her against the wall. She screams with excitement and kisses me wildly. As I pull a condom out of my back pocket, she reaches down to unbuckle my belt and lower my pants so I can roll it on. I hoist her body up, leaning her against the wall, and slide my hand underneath her skirt. Pushing her thong to the side, I position myself at her opening and slam right into her. She cries out in pain and then pleasure. I pump into her hard and fast and don’t give a shit if someone is watching. Her fingers curl into my hair and her legs squeeze my thighs together.

  I bend my head down to kiss and lick the nape of her neck, causing her to pant breathlessly. The music from downstairs blares as the crowd continues to cheer and sway along to the flow of the fast tempo. I continue my motion inside of her as I feel the climax start to build. This is the perfect relief for all of my pent up aggression and stress. As the pleasure climbs, I stroke my thumb along her swollen nub and rotate in a rhythmic circle, matching my thrusts.

  Her body clenches and her nails dig into my back, “Duke, I’m almost there.”

  I drive harder into her one last time, until the orgasm courses through my body and spills out of me. My eyes shut as the gratification consumes my entire body. Brooklyn screams my name as her insides squeeze around my dick.

  As we both come down from our highs, I lower her to the ground and head to the bathroom to clean up and dispose of the used condom. A few minutes later, I exit the bathroom and see her waiting for me in the hall.

  She rushes up to me and kisses me, “That was great! Let’s go to my room and continue the fun.”

  I yank her away from me, “Actually, I’m done here. Maybe some other time.”

  I push past her and head to the stairs as she says, “You’re such an asshole. I don’t know why I even bother with you.”

  I glance back at her, “I’m just honest.”

  She huffs, “Whatever. Some girl must have done a number on you for you to act like this.”

  Before I say too much, I turn and head downstairs to grab another drink. For the remainder of the night, Brooklyn flirts with every guy here, but honestly, I couldn’t care less. I only want one thing and it’s the one thing that I can’t get.

  With the first year of college complete, I manage to get a summer job working as a clerk at the local precinct. Every summer they take on a few interns who major in Criminal Justice at John Jay College and I just happen to be one of those lucky applicants. And with that, I dive right into work for the whole summer.

  Rob invites me to a few parties, but I decline all of them. I made a decision after my last encounter with Brooklyn—all I want is Raya. I would do anything to find her. So, here I am, learning the ropes as an investigator, well, as a clerk. Hopefully, with the skills I’ll learn, I can put them to good use and finally find her.

  On the last day of my summer internship, Rob invites me to a small get-together at the local coffee shop for a few drinks and to listen to a few local musicians. With the heavy workload that I’ve picked up, I decide to give in and accept his invite.

  “Great! It’s at the Cake Shop in the lower east side on Ludlow Street. We are all meeting there at seven. Tonight is karaoke night. Maybe you’ll sing?”

  I laugh, “I doubt it, but I’ll meet you guys there. I’m looking forward to it.”

  I hang up the phone and decide to head to the gym for a quick work-out session before tonight. By six-thirty, I arrive at the shop to see Rob already there, saving seats. Just as he turns toward the door, he sees me approaching him and opens his arms for a hug.

  “Duke! You made it! I haven’t seen you all summer. What have you been up to?”

  We take our seats as the waitress takes our orders.

  “Well, you know I got that internship, so really I’ve just been focused on that. But how are you? How you been?”

  “Summer’s been great! My dad got me a summer job at the firm, but besides that, life’s been good. The ladies have been looking especially nice this summer.”

  We both laugh and the waitress returns with our drink order. I take a quick sip of my coffee and it’s perfect. “Damn, this is good.”

  Rob agrees, “I told you. The music is great, too. A few of the locals perform and then they open the floor to a few guests.”

  I take another sip, “So, have you heard from Melanie or Taylor?”

  Rob chuckles, “You could just call them, you know. You didn’t have to push yourself away from us.”

  I groan, “I know, it was just easier than facing them, I guess.”

  He nods his head, “I understand. Well, Melanie is studying to be a nurse and Taylor’s focusing on his fighting.”

  My brow arches, “He’s still doing that? I thought he bowed out.”

  “Apparently, he’s gotten better and bigger. I saw him last week and the dude is huge. But, I guess you have to be if you’re an MMA fighter.”

  “Wow! That’s incredible. I can’t believe Melanie went into nursing. She always wanted to be a teacher.”

  “Well, certain experiences change our perspective on life. I mean, look at you. All you cared about was Lacrosse and now you’ve completely given it up to be an investigator.”

  I nod my head, “Yeah, I see what you mean.”

  A few minutes later, Rob’s friends arrive and he introduces me to all of them. The live bands start to play and the music is smooth and jazzy with a twist of hipster. After watching all five acts perform, I’m happy I decided to come out tonight. Maybe this is what I needed. Just a little break from all the chaos from work.

  The venue’s owner stands on stage and announces they will start allowing guests to come up and sing. That’s my cue. I get up out of my chair and head toward the restroom. As I wash my hands, I hear the first karaoke guest take the stage.

  I make my way back to the table and continue listening to the first singer. She’s pretty good, actually. Once she’s done, the crowd claps and cheers as she heads off stage. The next guest stands up and heads to the stage, takes controls of the mic, and starts to belt it out. We watch the next few guests sing on stage and the owner asks if anyone else would like to sing.

  Rob leans over to me, “Come on, bro, you know you want to.”

  I shake my head, “No, I’m not up for it tonight.”

  Rob persists, “Dude, what if it will help you? I know you always liked to sing. Just do it.”

  I exhale loudly and groan as I get out of my seat and head for the stage. The owner approaches me and wishes me luck, handing me the mic. I approach the guitarist and ask to borrow his instrument. He reluctantly hands it over and I drag a stool to the middle of the stage.

  I sit on the stool and talk into the mic, “Uhh, hi everyone. This is a song that I’ve always enjoyed but I never fully understood the impact it has on me until about a year ago, when som
eone I deeply cared for was no longer around.”

  I clear my throat and tune the guitar, “So, I’d like to dedicate this song to her. Wherever she is, I hope she’s safe and knows that I’ll never forget her.”

  I breathe deeply and close my eyes, gaining composure, as I glide my fingers across the strings of the guitar. I sing the lyrics to Not Over You by Gavin DeGraw with conviction and passion. As the words spill out of my mouth, I close my eyes and picture her face. She’s absolutely breathtaking while her hair blows in the wind as I drive us along the smooth highway. I imagine my hands reaching out to hers and she looks up at me with her dazzling blue eyes. I blow her a quick kiss and she giggles softly as she pretends to catch it.

  As I focus on the lyrics and remember her gorgeous face, I feel the heartache and loneliness creep back into my soul. And as I play the final chord, a small tear escapes from the corner of my eye and I quickly wipe it away. With that, the crowd sits in silence as I sing the final words to the song.

  Once it’s sung, the crowd cheers and I say into the mic, “I’m coming to find you, Raya.”

  Raya

  The chef rings the bell at the pass, “Order up!”

  I walk over up to the pass to grab my table’s order and stroll over to distribute the plates to my guests for the night. Their hungry faces glow as I present their orders and a few of them start to salivate.

  I chuckle, “Do you need anything else at the moment?”

  The three men shake their head “no” in response and I leave them to devour their meals. I walk over to Layla as she fills up a few glasses with soda.

  She looks over at me, “What’s wrong, Raya?”

  I blow out a deep breath, “I’ve been here about ten months and I’m always falling short. Don’t get me wrong, I love everyone here, but waitressing is the not the best way to establish yourself, you know?”

  Layla finishes filling up the glasses and places them on the tray. “I get it. It’s a tough world out there and finding a job these days is shit. Here I am, a college graduate with a degree in Biology, and I’m right alongside of you. It’s just hard times, we’ll get through it.”